Eleanor of Aquitaine: How NOT to Balance Work and Family

Is this you?

If you're like most working moms today, dividing your time between the house and the office, you probably spend a lot of time worrying about getting the balance right. Or feeling guilty because you don't think you're getting the balance right. Or exhausted because you're trying to handle the dual full-time challenges of pursuing a career and managing a household. Or all of the above. But take heart. However badly you think you're doing, your family is almost certainly better off than that of one of the most powerful and successful women of the pre-modern era: Eleanor of Aquitaine.

Eleanor had quite the CV. She became Duchess of Aquitaine, a large semi-independent principality in southern France, at age 15 in 1137. Three months later, she started climbing the ladder and became Queen of France when she married Louis VI. After having two daughters, she wasn't content to sit at home being queen, and went on an extended business trip to the Middle East with Louis, otherwise known as the Second Crusade.

Eleanor of Aquitaine

Of course, everyone knows that, to get ahead in your career, you sometimes have to switch jobs. Well, in Eleanor's case, since her career was really tied to the family firm, it was a little more challenging. She got an annulment from the Pope not long after the Crusade (it was not a successful trip), and, leaving her two daughters in their father's custody, married Henry, the 9-years-younger Duke of Normandy, a scant eight weeks later.

This was a bold move, a very risky move. Not only did she take a serious pay cut and a definitely lesser job title, but technically, her new husband even worked for the old one! But she could see that Henry was a man who was going places, and her gamble paid off. Henry went places, all right. He went to England and, with Eleanor at his side, defeated the armies of the King of England (who happened to be Henry's first cousin once removed - and you thought your family holidays were tense!), and "convinced" the king to name Henry the heir to the throne.

So Eleanor's gamble on the spin-off venture paid off, and she shortly became Queen of England (the only woman in history to be queen of both England and France). Henry became Henry II of England, and in between battles that freed Normandy and Aquitaine from all hint of French control, he reformed the English justice system, laying the basis for the common law system still in place in both England and America today.

After 21 years of marriage and eight children, five of whom were boys, things started to fall apart for Eleanor personally, though. Henry started flaunting a young and beautiful mistress, and several of his grown sons had gotten tired of waiting for their turn to run things. With Eleanor's encouragement, three of their sons, including Richard The Lionheart, started an unsuccessful rebellion against Henry. The revolt was put down, and Eleanor spent the next 16 years in captivity at Henry's command, although he sometimes let her out to join the family for special occasions like Christmas. Eleanor did not regain her freedom until Henry's death.

A good son?

Richard became king, freed his mother, and promptly set off on the Third Crusade, leaving Eleanor behind to run England in his absence. He also left his ambitious youngest brother, Prince John. (Whether he actually sucked his thumb is not known to history. We're pretty sure about the mommy issues, though.) Richard returned from the Crusade eventually, but died during a siege in France. Eleanor then watched John take the throne, her second son to do so.

She lived to be over 80, actively involved in ruling England until almost the very end. She was one of the most educated, beautiful, powerful, and wealthy women in history, but she wasn't able to find that balance between career and family we all strive for. You could even say she failed in spectacular fashion. So, the next time you feel inadequate because you didn't feel like cooking after a long day on the job, relax. It could always be worse.